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It's a good thing babies are small, or they wouldn't fit in their clothes." Dennis the Menace "Who'd have ever thought the biggest thing to ever happen to you would be the smallest?" Johnson & Johnson ad Babysitter "A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while adults are out acting like teenagers." Unknown Bacon "Everything goes better with bacon." Al Roker "The most beautiful thing on Earth." Jim Gaffagan Bad "When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope that things are so bad, they have to get better." Malcolm S. Forbes Badger "You never know what goes on inside a giant badger." 3rd Rock from the Sun If you let it go maybe it'll stop screaming." Herman "Playing the bagpipes is like throwing a javelin blindfolded. You don't have to be good at it to get everyone's attention." Argus Hamilton "What was the guy who invented the bagpipe really trying to do?" Wizard of Id "Who doesn't hate bagpipes?" Daisy Fuentes "Compared to baking, brain surgery is a snap." Andromeda Baldness "I was happy when I first saw the original Star Trek because there were no bald people on the Enterprise. That told me that, in the future, not only do we have the racial problems solved, but we also have cured male pattern baldness. But then my heart sank when I saw Star Trek: the Next Generation because I don't think Captain Picard chose to be bald." Unknown Bali "A gentle paradise" Barry Peterson Ballot "A love song to your country." B.C. Bank "Banks and savings and loans are like purple martin houses for Republicans." Michael Feldman, What Do You Know? Bar "There is nothing which has yet been contributed by man, by which so much happiness is produced as a good tavern or inn." Samuel Johnson Bargaining "Reason has no place in Indian bazaars." Shoba Narayan Barrier "If someone says 'can't,' that shows you what you have to do." Ally McBeal Bath "Baths were not a luxury. Baths were the foundation of civilization." Robert Harris, Pompeii: A Novel "I never share a bath with anything that's got six legs." One Foot in the Grave "All I really need are beads." Beth Stone, Seed Bead Stitching "Bead the best you can Bead." Unknown "I bead for happy." Pamela Welborn "I wish every child could live in a world where they were safe, loved and had full tummies. I wish every child had the opportunity to dream of beads." Nancy Kamp "It all depends on the beads." Bethany Barry "Is it okay if I imagine a bear attacking you?" Scott Adams, Dilbert "Things happen to bears." Michael Bond, Paddington Abroad Beard "If you think that to grow a beard is to acquire wisdom, a goat with a fine beard is at once a veritable Plato." Lucian "And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy ... a heart inflamed and a soul enchanted. It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear ... but rather a garden forever in bloom." Khalil Gibran, On Beauty "Beautiful as an angel and stupid as a basket." Unknown on Marie-Angélique de Fontanges, mistress of Louis XIV "Beauty, born not earned, is unfairly distributed among the daughters of the world." Carolyn Mason "Beauty fades. Dumb is forever." Judge Judy’s grandmother as quoted by Judge Judy Sheindlin "Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them." David Hume "Beauty is potent, but money is omnipotent." English proverb "I don't believe in natural beauty." Steel Magnolias (Dolly Parton) "If you get simple beauty and naught else, you get about the best thing God invents." Robert Browning "It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness." Leo Tolstoy "John Keats got it wrong. ... Beauty isn't truth. It's youth. Beauty is youth, youth beauty." Sharon McCrumb, The PMS Outlaws: An Elizabeth... "Nothing's beautiful from every point of view." Horace "Rich men's houses are seldom beautiful, rarely comfortable, and never original. It is a constant source of surprise to people of moderate means to observe how little a big fortune contributes to Beauty." Margot Asquith "Some women are not beautiful - they only look as though they are." Karl Kraus "Sometimes the issue isn't beauty at all, but soul and fidelity." Donna Warner "The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. The earth's beauty grows on men. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you'll soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life." Frank Lloyd Wright "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." Ralph Waldo Emerson Bee "A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower." K. Hubbard Beer "Beer is the nectar of the nitwit." The Simpsons - The Complete First Season "Nobody likes beets." The Office Behavior "Behavior is learned by children during every waking moment." Timothy C. Brennan Jr. "Good manners change from generation to generation; bad manners, like suffering, are permanent, obscure and dark; and share the nature of infinity." Harold Nicholson, Good Behavior "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." Catherine Aird "Kneeling down to pray is easy. It's getting up to behave well that takes stamina." Unknown "Nobody ... ever saw Socrates drunk." Harold Nicolson, Good Behavior "Treat everyone as if they were a close friend." The 14th Dalai Lama "You can't change how people think, you can't change how people feel, but you can make demands on their behavior and give them an ultimatum." Dr. Laura Schlessinger Belgium "Belgium is extremely dull." Alexander McCall Smith, 44 Scotland Street "There was nothing threatening about Belgium. Ineffably dull, perhaps, but not threatening." Alexander McCall Smith, Portuguese Irregular Verbs "Why would anybody have to go to Belgium?" In Bruges "A belief is not merely an idea that the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." Robert Bolton "A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." Martin Luther King, Jr. "Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts." F. F. Bosworth "I have come to the conclusion that whether or not a person is a religious believer does not matter much. Far more important is that they be a good human being." Dalai Lama "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe. I believe what I believe is right." George W. Bush "If you don't want to believe, there is no proof." Dr. Laura Schlessinger "More persons, on the whole, are humbugged by believing in nothing, than by believing to much." P. T. Barnum "Under all that we think lives all that we believe like the ultimate veil of our spirits." Antonio Machado "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll "You can have anything that you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it." Robert Anthony "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." Ben Shahn Belonging "Proximity does not bestow membership." Garrison Keillor Bereavement Loss of a Pet - Eternity Garden "When they look down, they see your love." Father Mychal Judge Betrayal "The thorn from the bush one has planted, nourished and pruned pricks most deeply and draws more blood." Maya Angelou, All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes "When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself." Isaac Bashevis Singer Bewilderment "I believe my subject is bewilderment. But I could be wrong." Donald E. Westlake "The intention of [the Bible] is to teach us how one goes to heaven, not how the heavens go." Galileo "A bigot is somebody with a red neck and a small brain." Conrack "I hate bigots." Malcolm in the Middle - The Complete... Birthday "I'm sure glad I was born on the same day as my birthday." Dennis the Menace "Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a mallet and a plastic skunk." Suite Life of Zach and Cody Birthright "The only people who inherit anything by right of birth are congenital idiots." Isaac Asimov, Foundation and Empire "A cat can have biscuits in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits." Frazier Rod Blagojevich "I really wish I was still the governor." Blame "I'm not smart enough to figure out what you're up to. But when something bad happens, I am blaming you." Malcolm in the Middle "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: there is no one to blame." Erica Jong Bleak "You cannot know until it happens to you, but there is almost nothing existentially bleaker than sitting alone on a bus in the rain with a driver who will not talk to you and being given a cooking tip by someone who does not exist." David Rakoff, Fraud Wolf Blitzer "Kissing Wolf Blitzer does not - does not- cause razor burn." Wolf Blitzer "Who the hell is Wolf Blitzer?" Falcon Heene "Wolf Blitzer is a great rap name." Toure "I just hate to see a person waste perfectly good blog material by describing his life experiences out loud." Zits "When the going gets tough, the tough get blogging." Christopher Buckley, Boomsday "If you love
me (but not quite) "In war we stain our bodies blue so that though our enemies may strip us of our clothes and our lives, they cannot strip us of our respectability." George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra "Study the blues carefully ... somewhere in there is the precise shade of heaven." UCLA professor Boat "Only dead people lie down in boats." Surinamese proverb Boldness "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Bonaparte "I don't belong to myself, I belong to my name and to my country." Napoleon III "There is no justice for Bonapartes in France." Louis XVIII "A good book 50 years ago is a good book today." Jakob Nielsen “A goode booke is the precious life-blood of a master spirit, imbalm’d and treasur’d up on purpose to a life beyond life” Wilton’s Areopagitica "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." G. K. Chesterton "A room without books is a body without a soul." Marcus Tullius Cicero "Beware of a man of one book." English proverb "Books have to heavy because the whole world's inside them." Cornelia Funke, Inkheart "Books will persist because they're beautiful and useful. They're like horses after the automobile - not gone, but transformed into a recreational beast." Dick Brass "Everything comes to him who waits except a loaned book." McKinney Hubbard"For great is the profit from book-learning. Through the medium of books, we are shown and taught the way of repentance, for we gain wisdom and continence from the written word. Books are like rivers that water the whole earth; they are the springs of wisdom. For books have an immeasurable depth; by them we are consoled in sorrow." Epithet of Yaroslav the Wise "God be thanked for books. They are the voices of the distant and the dead, and make us the heirs of the spiritual life of past ages. Books are the true levelers. They give to all who will faithfully use them, the society, the spiritual presence, of the best and greatest of the human race." William Ellery Channing "I bless God in the libraries of the learned and for all the booksellers in the world." Christopher Smart "I like books. Do you?" The Ninth Gate "I'm sure I don't know why folks have to deface books with their bigoted drivel." Ben Pastor, The Water Thief "It's still very satisfying to smell a book, to crack it open and flip the pages. It's hard to put a little kid in your lap and read to them from a computer. Linda Darling "Man decays, his corpse is dust, all his kin have perished; but a book makes him remembered through the mouth of its reciter. Better is a book than a well-built house, than tomb-chapels in the west; better than a solid mansion." Egyptian Papyrus Chester Beatty IV "Never judge a book by its movie." J. W. Eagan Plunge into a book as you plunge into water. Poverty awaits him who does not go there." Egyptian proverb "There is no friend as loyal as a book." Ernest Hemingway "When you give someone a book, you don't give him just paper, ink, and glue. You give him the possibility of a whole new life." Christopher Morley Boredom "I always think boredom is to some extent the fault of the bored." Kate Ross, Cut to the Quick "I wonder what makes you yawn apart from anything starring Robert Mitchum. Boredom I suppose." One Foot in the Grave "If you're looking for something to do, why don't you start a new twine ball?" The Simpsons (The Simpsons - The Complete First Season) "Life isn't boring. You are boring." Tony Robbins Bothered "It's that gnawing little disgusted feeling you get when other people don't have the sense to be more like you." Linda Cox Botox "Life's a party with a face full of poison." Will and Grace Bowling "Bowling is the activity you do after you do everything else." Jim Gaffagan "Did you ever stop to consider that it might have been the bowling that led you astray?" Tamar Myers, Assault and Pepper "I watch bowling on TV because I use my time wisely." Jim Gaffagan "The pastime of the gods." Third Rock from the Sun Boxers "Boxers are delicious." Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show Brain "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn't stop until you get into the office." Unknown Brainstorm "Brainstorm with someone10 years older and someone 10 years younger." IBM's Changing the World Brand "A brand is the promise of a bundle of attributes that someone buys and that provides satisfaction. The attributes may be tangible or invisible, rational or emotional. ... [A brand] is a promise of future satisfaction." Brad Moore Bravery "Being brave really isn't that much of a trick. Most of the time courage is just ignorance of what's really going on." Michael A. Stackpole, Dark Tide I: Onslaught (Star Wars: The... "Only cowards can be truly brave." Sandra Kimberley Hall "Making bread is honorable." Tom Cordova "Breakfast can be the best meal of the day. Especially if you eat it around noon in bed." MacNelly, Shoe Breakups "I still miss my ex ... but my aim is getting better!" Unknown Brief History of Time "That was a book that had been bought by many millions, but had been demonstrated to have been read by only a minute proportion of those who had acquired it. For do we not all have a copy of that on our shelves, and who amongst us can claim to have read beyond the first page, in spite of the lucid prose of its author and his evident desire to share with us his knowledge of ... of whatever it is that the book is about?" Alexander McCall Smith, The World According to Bertie "Broccoli would be better if it were made of meat and slathered in BBQ sauce." KC Masterpiece ad "Limp, green cruciferous devil, you have the head of a flower, but the aroma of a gas station men's room. Oh, vile weed, I reject you!" Zits "One broccoli molecule equals one bite, right?" Baby Blues Broker "If your broker's so great, how come he still has to work?" E*TRADE ad Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: "It taught kids that just because someone is different, you shouldn't have anything to do with them." Unknown "They're us. We're them." Mission To Mars "Treat every person with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you. Remember that you show compassion to others not because of who they are but because of who you are." Andrew T. Somers "United we win." US WWII victory poster "We hope that the world will not narrow into a neighborhood before it has broadened into a brotherhood." Lyndon Baines Johnson Budget "About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends." Herbert Hoover Buffalo Hunt: complete list of buffalo photos on this site "It would be a great step forward in the civilization of the Indians and the preservation of peace on the border if there was not a buffalo in existence." James Throckmorton Bull Riding "I don't know what makes you love gettin' on bulls and gettin' beat up. It's just the way it is." Chris Shivers Bureaucracy "Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible." Javier Pascual Salcedo Burden "It's not the load that breaks you down: it's the way you carry it." Unknown "Look toward the light, and the shadow of your burden will fall behind you." Unknown Burial "There is nothing quite so good as a burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating." Alfred Hitchcock Burrito "You can't just go around grabbing people's burritos." Phil of the Future Bus "A rolling box of nasty smells and broken dreams." The Drew Carey Show George W. Bush "Bush is smarter, much smarter, than people generally understand." Richard N. Haass Business "Business is founded on confidence; success on cooperation." John H. Patterson "Ecommerce isn't EZ." Nancy Kamp "I understand small business growth. I was one." George W. Bush "It's e-business or out of business." Oracle ad Butler "Everyone needs a butler." Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays is Missing "When people like what they see, they buy it. When they like what they buy, they buy it again." Boyd Coffee Co. ad Buzzards "Buzzards have to eat, same as worms." The Outlaw Josie Wales
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, Creative Variations on Traditional Techniques 