askrelationships

for Good Advice about
Relationships

Hi Everyone,

I AM NOT A SHRINK.

If you have very serious issues, go to a professional. NOW. And think of this as your official disclaimer - these pages are meant for entertainment only.

Caryn

PS I may quote a portion of your e-mail on the site, but I'll never give your real name or e-mail address.

Legal - Privacy Policies

Bullies

Bullying kids are abusive mates. It's a real problem.

When you're the target of a bully. you have some choices:

Avoid him or her - sometimes it helps if you can hang with a group

Get into some outside activities - you'll have a better life AND make a few friends

Stand up to the bully. Fighting back can get you in trouble, but telling the bully you don't like what's going on and asking him to stop might help.

Don't stand by while someone else is being bullied. Give the victim the benefit of your support.

Don't accept blame when you are a victim yourself.

Visit stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov for more help.

Real Friend

Hey,

My name is Mary. Me and my best friend Linda get along great most of the time. She may not be the best kind of friend you need, but I still love her. By the way I'm 13.

Maybe you can help me. She has a problem with taking over things. For instance, when I get a new guy friend she seems to take over. I was just now on the phone with this guy, Paul, and she told me that she would give me the phone when she was done and she hasn't given me the chance to talk to him in, what, 2 to 3 hours. This may seem to you as a not-so-important-situation but I still want to know what you think.

She's also very stingy and spoiled from being the only child.

I want your advice. Tell me the truth.

Love, Mary

Hi Mary,

It looks like you have several choices - none of which are going to be great.

You can say and do nothing. The problem with Linda will continue.

You can try talking with Linda. She might deny everything, which will put you in the position of having to defend yourself. Or she might find fault with you.

While she might realize she has a problem and try to improve her behavior, this is hard for most people to do without help.

Chances are, your friendship is going to suffer whatever you do. On the other hand, the current situation is not healthy for you. So you might consider making some new friends who will respect you. This doesn't mean you have to turn your back on Linda. It just means, you need to spend less time with her for your own sake. I wish you the best.

Caryn

Sex Only

My b/f broke up wit me cause he dont wanna g/f rite now and like 30 min b4 he broke up wit me he told me he loved me and we were all
like holding hands and stuff. ... He said he will sit by me and like hold my hand and one of my friendz told me to do more and like only if u wanna. I'm like ok?? but the thing is he wont go back out wit me but he will make out wit me.

Thanx,
Sad-n-Confused

Hi Sad,

The hardest thing to do is move on. Someone who only wants you for sex isn't good enough for you. Drop him.

Good luck,
Caryn

Well, it's kinda hard cause I'm 13 and I really like him! Also he doesn't want me 4 sex - just 4 a friend.

Oh, Sad. You said in your first letter that he is willing to make out so he does want some form of sex.

You're going to like so many boys. This one isn't treating you the way a friend would. Move on no matter how much it hurts.

Caryn

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