We all know Martha Bear® is beautiful on the inside.  She's kind and thoughtful, after all.  But her exterior, like most everyone else's needs a little something to help it always look its best.  In her case, we're talking fabric at its snowiest white.   

Recently, Martha was looking at her full face in the mirror down the hall of Stately Martha Manor.  "Oh my, oh my my,” she commented to the bear looking back at her.  "You are beginning to show some wear and tear, Miss Martha.” 

Airborne, her grasshopper companion and advisor, overheard (because that's what he does) her cry of despair. 

"Why Martha Bear®," he remarked.  "You look lovely as usual."

"Thank you, Airborne, but I'm not so sure.  Just look at this horrid age spot on my head, and, and a wrinkle, too, I think!"

The hopper hovered above the worrisome area and peered down.  "All I see is a spec of some sort.  I'm sure it will wash away." 

"I've tried.  Horrors, but I think it's a stain!  I don't want to sound conceited, but since I'm the SpokesBear for GraciousJaneMarie.com, I'm forever having my picture taken.  However will it look to have spots the size of quarters all over me?" 

"It's only your imagination, Martha," Airborne told her.  "Your spot is no bigger than the diameter of a hopper's antenna.  If it weren't for my excellent bug vision, I doubt I would be able to detect it from a foot away." 

Word of Martha Bear's worry quickly spread throughout the Southeast Branch of greenlightWRITE.com on Amelia Island, Florida and on, even to the company's World Headquarters in Oklahoma, home of Teddy O™, Martha's rascally counterpart as a Senior Ursine Editor.

In short order, Bird, Director of Security at Stately Malcolm Manor was announcing the approach of the mail carrier delivering a package.  Spew, Senior Feline Editor of the Florida Felines, retrieved the package at the door and carried it to Martha Bear®.  "Books (looks) like it longs (belongs) to you."

"Thank you ever so, Spew."  Martha said as she tore into the unexpected gift.  "I can't imagine what this is." 

But Spew didn't hear, or care for that matter.  He was completely distracted by the sound of ripping, crumpling paper.  Whenever this particular sound struck the tips of his tufted ears, they perked and he dashed toward the wondrous noise.  Why?  Because it might mean someone had balled up some paper and would throw it for him to fetch.  A fetching cat was a definite point of pride in the household of Martha Bear®, and Spew did his duty to keep his skill honed.

Stain and Wrinkle Remover 

"Look Airborne.  It's from Teddy O™.  How very thoughtful.  He must have heard of my cosmetic trials and has sent this, whatever it is, along to help.  How dear of him." 

"I realize that, but I'm sure he wouldn't do anything unsavory in this particular regard because he's always complimenting me on my lovely complexion."  She corrected herself.  "Well, actually, he says things like: 'It's amazing that a gal as old as you looks as good as you sometimes do, Martha.'  I just know he means it in the best possible way.  It's only that he's not too good at offering compliments."

Airborne threw up his teensy hands and flew backwards without arguing with Martha's questionable judgment.  The bear hurried to the mirror down the hall, flipped on the light switch, removed the cork, tipped the bottle and poured a small, slow moving dollop into the palm of her paw.  Dipping one retracted claw into the creamy solution, she touched it to the spot and wrinkle on her head.  She watched in the mirror and in less than five seconds time, the spot faded and the wrinkle was gone!

"Airborne," she cried happily.  "Did you see that?" 

"I did!  I did!" he told her hovering over what was left of the faded spot.   

"Maybe if I put on another application, the spot will completely fade." 

"It's worth a try," Airborne agreed. 

Martha repeated the process and the spot was gone.  "Wow!  Whatever can this wonderful elixir be?" she asked.  But there was a problem.  The area of her forehead on which she'd put the beauty treatment was so stiff she couldn't lift her bearbrows!  She reached up and touched her face and was shocked to find it hard, so hard, she could tap a claw on it and make a clicking sound!   

"What in the world is that noise?" 

"It's the stuff I used.  The skin underneath is so stiff, I can't wiggle my ears or move the top of my head."  As Martha kept tapping, the cementatious covering began to crack and flake.  In a moment's time, the original spot was exposed again and the winkle returned.  

The two friends had been so mesmerized by the miracle of removal that neither had noticed an odd odor emanating from the bottle.  "What is that nasty smell?" wondered Airborne, holding his bug nose.

And then Airborne thought he'd heard a growl coming from his bear friend, a thing so unusual and unexpected, he was sure he was mistaken. 

The inquiry was sent.  The response swift. 

Dear Martha, you big old pile of wrinkles you. 

Can't understand why your e-mail sounded so upset with me.  You should be thanking me for the bottle of dog slobbers I thoughtfully collected at my own peril and just for you, too.  Forget the repulsive fragrance, forget the flaking and chipping.  It tightened the skin and removed the wrinkle, didn't it?  And if you put enough layers of the goo on, I'll bet it will hide your horrid age spot.  So I ask you, what's all this grousing coming out of Florida?  

You know, I'm thinking of talking to Mr. Whickers about this new beauty treatment of mine.  I've got it all figured out.  All I have to do is hang a pork chop from the ceiling over the dogs and make sure to catch their drool in buckets.  Then I have to come up with some delicate scent to mask the bad smell.  Simple, huh?  I'll just sit back and think of all the possibilities, out of reach of doggie toenails.

Oh, if you wonder how I discovered this marketable product, it was purely by accident.  General Dogsbody gave me a big old lick on the leg one day and as soon as his drool dried, I couldn't bend my knee.  I quickly realized I had come across a winner. 

Remember, your new beauty treatment is a prototype.  I'm asking you, from one honorable bear to another, not to mention this incredible product to anyone until I can get it patented.  I wouldn't want the competition to get wind of it.  Down wind, that is.  Hee, hee.  Get it?  Anyone else would think it's merely a bottle of rotten sauerkraut and bury it.  Not me.  I can see potential there.  How do I think of these things, I ask you? 

Just remember, I'm always here to look out for you.

Your beary buddiest bear,

     Teddy O

The hopper had to agree.  

"I just got to thinking, Airborne.  Where do you suppose Teddy O™ got that antique bottle?  I'll bet it's the one I saw locked away for safe keeping in Nancy's china cabinet the last time I visited.  I'd best be returning it to her, don't you think." 

"Yes, but not before you wash out the dog slobbers," he recommended and couldn't help but laugh himself.

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