FBI

"When the FBI gets robbed, who do they call?"  Jay Leno

Failure

"Failure does not equate to a crime."  Kenneth Lay, former Enron CEO

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently."  Henry Ford

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."  Bill Cosby

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.  Then use a stunt double."  Arnold Schwarzenegger

"One failure doesn't mean we lose the race of life any more than losing a battle means losing a war."  Dale E. Turner

"Rats cry when they hear about my life."  Scott Adams,  Dilbert

"The only time you don't fail is the last time you try something."  Charles F. Kettering

"You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else."  Unknown

Fairness 

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian."  Unknown

"Nothing is fair, nor simple, nor easily comprehensible."  Judith Tarr,  White Mare's Daughter   

"Who you love, who you hate - none of it's fair."  Once and Again

Faith 

"Faith is believing in something common sense tells us not to."  Unknown

"Faith is great, but it's doubt that gets you an education."  Unknown

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens."  J.R.R. Tolkien

"I follow my faith, which cannot be wicked, since it commands me never to do wrong."  Kamehameha I

"Man is fashioned from his faith and is what he believes."  The Bhagavad Gita

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:  There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly."  Unknown

Fame

"Fame is a fickle food
Upon a shifting plate."  Emily Dickinson

"Fame is expensive.  Fame is deadly.  Fame is something best left to the obscure."  Sean Miller,  The Empire MenaceD

"Fame is the iron ore of the age of celebrity."  Howard Fineman

"I didn't do this to become famous. I've become famous because I write songs."  Elvis Costello

"If you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass."  South Park

"It will be a sad day when I can't buy my own toilet paper."  Clay Aiken

"The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you."  Author Unknown

"There's nothing in the world with a shorter lifespan than an American celebrity."  The Naked Truth

Family 

"A family is but an earlier heaven."  John Bowring

"All the wealth in the world is no good if you don't have a family."  Caroline Lawrence,  The Thieves of Ostia

"And truly what plague is more powerful in hurtfulness than a member of one's household who has become an enemy?"  Boethius

"Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice.  It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice."  Reinhold Niebuhr

"Family is whoever happens to be sitting around the dinner table."  Bolla ad

"Family isn't blood. ... Family is who loves you, who takes care of you."  Bruce Coville,  Into the Land of the Unicorns (Unicorn...

"The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended."  Robert Frost

"This is our family, and you don't just leave your family.  You work things out."  Robin Ostergaard

"Tragically, I was an only twin."  Peter Cook

Fanaticism

"Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim."  George Santayana

Farewell

"Even though I won't be president, I'll always be with you until the last dog dies."  Bill Clinton

"I suppose I won't see you for a while, so farewell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don't eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!  Christopher Paolini,  Eldest

Farmer

"Though not allured by honour's name,
My heart well knows its worth.
I harvest not the field of fame,
I reap my own good earth."  Erik Gustaf Geijer,  Odalbonden (translation by C. W. Stork) 

Fashion

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."  Oscar Wilde

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only.  Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."  Coco Chanel

"In the harsh light of the sun, even plain white undies emit an eerie, spectral glow, as though the wearer were concealing a black light in her pants."  Amanda Fortini

"Isn't it amazing how all men look great in a suit of armor."  Sabrina, the TV show

"We must be kind to fashion because it dies so young."  Jean Cocteau

"Without fashion, there is anarchy."  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sunnydale High Yearbook (Buffy the...

"You can never have enough big white belts." Hey Arnold

Fat

"We ain't fat, we thick."  Jennifer Hudson

Fate 

"A man will not be drowned if he is to be hanged."  Unknown

"Every chance meeting is in reality an appointment."  José Luis Borges

"Fate leads the willing and drags along the reluctant."  Seneca

"Fate is just what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over."  Malcolm in the Middle - The Complete...

"If Spinoza was right and everything is predestined, there was no point in doing sit-ups."  Roger Simon

"It is foolish to cry over fate when you can plan and work toward changing destiny."  Naomi Ragen

"Man can cure disease but not fate."  Unknown

"This is my lot in life, and I'd better get used to it because it's not about to improve in the foreseeable future."  Christopher Paolini,  Eldest

Father

"A father is a banker provided by nature."  French proverb

"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be."  Unknown

"A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society."  Billy Graham

"A man's children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season."  Unknown

"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father."   Lydia M. Child

"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."  Sigmund Freud

"I was frightened of my father, and I am damn well going to see to it that my children are frightened of me."  George V

"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."  Bill Cosby

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."  Haim Ginott

"It is a wise father who knows his child."  William Shakespeare

"Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected."   Red Buttons

"No man ever wore a scarf as warm as his daughter's arm around his neck."  Unknown

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters."  17th century English proverb

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  Theodore M. Hesbaugh

"To be a successful father ... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years."  Ernest Hemingway

"To her the name of father was another name for love."  Fanny Fern

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around, but when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."  Mark Twain

"You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's."  Robert Frost

Fatigue

"I'm too tired to slap you.  Bash your face against the palm of my hand, would ya?"  Will and Grace

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