"Where did it all begin?" wondered Airborne, Martha Bear's grasshopper companion and a bug of few words.
You see, Martha of GraciousJaneMarie.com and Bear With No Name of greenlightWRITE.com have been going round and round about so many subjects that they sometimes got confused. Martha didn't always remember exactly, but she did do pretty well on approximately. So they settled themselves in the shade of Pine Tree Place, which was draped with snowy jasmine blossoms in Jane Marie's flower garden. And this is where Martha began unfolding her story.
Inhaling the sweet floral fragrance, Martha said, "I believe it was I who suggested that since everyone loves bears - even mischievous bears like Bear With No Name. It might be fun to chronicle our experiences, both adventurous and semi-adventurous, because everything a bear does is worth mentioning to a human.”
Airborne rubbed his knees together in enthusiastic agreement.
"Besides,” Martha reasoned, "there are still a few humans out there who, sadly, don't have their very own bears to love, so these narratives might fill the void of affection lost to them.”
"Since I reside and work at Stately Martha Manor on Amelia Island, Florida with Jane Marie and her family (and this is where the Southeastern Branch Office of greenlightWRITE is located), I decided to e-mail my idea to chronicle our stories to Bear With No Name. He lives in Oklahoma at the Worldwide Corporate Headquarters with Nancy Kamp, Jane Marie's sister and partner. But you already know that part, Airborne.”
"I just don't dare leave out any details lest I become befuddled.”
Airborne shook his head.
Martha's ears twitched in the telling of that contradictory comment, yet she managed to continue. "He went on to say he had to agree that stories about bears, particularly if he were the star of those stories, would have a positive effect on our business. He added that, occasionally, a word or two about me could be added, but we had to be careful so my actions didn't bore the humans out there."
"Then he said the first thing we needed was a title for the stories. He suggested
I asked him if there was an actual case of squeaking mouse foragers because I knew No Name does have a far more exciting life than I do. With No Name and myself both holding the same position of Senior Ursine* Editor in our particular divisions, I certainly don't want to be accused of withholding information with regard to a new concept.”
Airborne flitted from the overhanging branch on which he had perched to land on Martha's right foot in rapt attention.
"I must say, Bear With No Name took his time in replying Once he did, he e-mailed he'd been tied up judging which of Nancy's canine staff could pull the longest length of toilet tissue from the roll before it either ripped or doggie spits caused the tissue to dissolve.”
From the sound of it, Airborne thought it might be fun to live with No Name if the opportunity ever arose.
With her shoulders stooped in embarrassment, Martha clarified, "He told me there wasn't any case of squeaking mouse foragers. He said he'd only made it up to make me feel foolish. He finished by writing that I was gullible and very easy to trick.”
Feeling disloyal, Airborne flew from Martha's foot to flutter one wing against her cheek in an apologetic grasshopper kiss.
"Thank you, dear Airborne. You're a good little hopper and I'm very glad you're my friend.”
Martha cleared her throat and sat up straight. "Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Mr. No Name went on to say the first story should definitely focus on him, and it should simply be called
The Saga of Bear With No Name
"I may be nameless until we have the contest [now concluded] where visitors to our website will give me a name," he'd said, "but the female bears sure know what to call me after hours." At this point in his e-mail transmission, he inserted a winking happy face.”
While the hopper waited, he made one pass around Jane Marie's flower garden surveying the day's activities. It was plain to him that Martha needed a short respite, so when she returned with the lemonade, Airborne steered her toward the back of the manor, beneath the potting table where Jane Marie sprouts her cuttings, to listen to the Spring Sing rehearsal that was being held there.
The annual Sing was sponsored this year by the bees, the birds and the crickets. It featured the Amelia Island Toad Choir, made up of the most recently born toad babies with the highest-pitched voices.
After a five-minute break, Martha and Airborne left the director, Antuneio Toad, corralling the toadlets, many of whom were distracted by the occasional tasty mosquito flying past.
for a main title."
"Now you know, Airborne, that I considering myself a wordsmith of sorts. Oh my. Oh my, my. I hope I don't sound too boastful, like No Name.”
Airborne assured her she was only speaking the truth.
Martha thanked him and then said, "I told No Name Bearographies was lovely, then asked him what he thought of
"I don't get it," he answered back quickly.
"Bearitome is a compound word, I educated. Bear, of course, is an ursine mammal, that's what No Name and I are. And tome means a story or book. Bear-i-tome." She said this in slow syllables so Airborne would understand.
"No Name told me that if it has to be explained, it's too deep and over humans' heads. I had to agree with him on that point.”
"Oo. Ooo. I KNOW. I KNOW," he shouted back in capital letters.
"Why yes, I told him, that might work."
"MIGHT WORK? MIGHT WORK?" He was indignant. "NO ONE CAN TOP THAT."
"There was a minute's pause and then he answered, NO ONE BUT ME! I've got it now."
Teddy Bears Wars
"I'm very glad Jane Marie demonstrates her gracious ways so often because I was definitely tempted not to admit to No Name that he had come up with a winner. But I did. Teddy Bear Wars it is, I told him.”
"It was nothing," he replied. "And remember, Martha, old gal, whenever you need help, just give me a holler, ya hear?"
"And that's just how it happened, Airborne. It was No Name who came up with the name for our stories. I'm very glad to have that clear in my mind, but more importantly, I must try and not think ill of Bear With No Name because being nice is a better thing.”
With one ear wiggling back and forth and the other wiggling to and fro, Martha waved goodbye to Airborne and ambled into the manor.
Just then, a new worry crossed her mind. What if No Name wanted to write a descriptive narrative entitled Fork on Tin, highlighting his inventive technique for keeping the canine staff from dozing during business hours? Martha had once witnessed this particular torture while visiting Nancy.
"Poor Nancy. Poor, dear Nancy," Martha determined. "I must be sure and send her a note of sympathy with regard to Bear With No Name. She truly is an animal lover, be the animal stuffed or unstuffed."
That decided, Martha began singing the Star Spangled Banner backwards to occupy her thoughts because singing the Star Spangled Banner forwards was too easy for a bear and she needed to keep the hammering echoes of No Name's plate and fork music out of her head. She feared she would otherwise find herself walking the halls of Stately Martha Manor this night and THAT would never do.
Almost The End
UPDATE: We followed No Name's advice and bought TeddyBearWars.com. But it never did feel quite right so we didn't renew our ownership of that domain. And now someone else has it. Good luck to them.
click on the photo of Airborne to enlarge it
If you like this information, please link to it instead of copying it. You may not display our content on a public bulletin board, ftp site, website, chat room or by any other unauthorized means. Thanks.
Copyright© 1999-2011 by Nancy Kamp, dba greenlightWRITE.com and Grace-Light.com. All Rights Reserved. International and US Federal Copyright Laws protect all material on this website, which may not be reprinted in any form in any media or hosted on any website. This document confers no rights whatsoever to its reader / recipient. No rights in any copyrighted material, whether exclusive or non-exclusive, may be transferred in the absence of a written agreement that is the product of the parties' negotiations, fully approved by independent counsel retained by Nancy Kamp and formally executed with manual signatures by all parties to the agreement pursuant to the statutory requirements of Section 204(a) of the Federal Copyright Act of 1976. Furthermore, anyone caught using our trademarks or copyrighted text, images, or jewelry and craft designs without permission will be reported to their billing company, their hosting company and any other related companies for account closure. We will also follow up with a copyright infringement lawsuit in accordance with the The Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).
Using the information on this site and linked to this site is done at your own risk. No promises or guarantees of any kind are intended or implied.
Legal - Privacy