Sniffoff2

Jane Marie proudly presents

The Great Amelia Island Sniff Off
Part One Part Two

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Jane Marie hushed the excited crowd. “I am proud to announce that the winner of this year’s Great American Sniff-Off is none other than Georgiana Moonglow, the pretty chameleon who lives in Pine Tree Place with her handsome husband, Gus, and their three liz-kids, Muss, Fuss and Russ.”

Thunderous applause exploded as Georgiana leapt from the screened-in veranda floor to the table; being extra careful no one stepped on her tail and pulled it off. Cameras whirled and flashed as the lizard changed from brown to bright green and accepted the large conch shell trophy.

“Thank you, everyone. It took the help of my family and friends to carry my flower here today, so I especially want to thank them and let them all know I have liniment available for any aching back that needs it.”

After the laughter subsided, she continued. “I also want to thank the judges for this grand prize. It will make a fine new house for us. Are there any volunteers to help transport it to the back forty of Jane Marie’s garden? For those of you who don’t know, Gus and I have a small hidden area of property beneath the Confederate Jasmine where it will fit perfectly.”

Hands, front legs and paws went up all over.

Wink E Bear looked over to see a disappointed Martha Bear®. “I’m sorry, Martha Bear®. I just had to vote for Georgiana’s flower. You can see I had no choice.”

Martha Bear™ smiled bravely. “Of course you had no choice, but I just can’t imagine why my flower is wilted when I was so careful with it.”

“It’s my fault, Martha Bear™,” explained No Name.

Jane Marie overheard. “Perhaps we should discuss this matter in private.”

“No, ma’am,” he replied. “I did wrong and I’d like to explain.” He climbed up onto the table to stand and deliver the following: “Ladies and germs, may I have your attention?”

Nancy leaned over to her sister and whispered, “This ought to be good.”

All ears tuned to the small bear from Oklahoma. “I came here hoping to offer suggestions and assistance to Nancy and Jane Marie as they perform their daily duties in the production of our mega-website, greenlightWRTITE.com / GraciousJaneMarie.com, and whatever else they added to their list of domain names while I stowed away in Nancy’s suitcase.” He winked in the direction of the sisters and said behind his hand, “I never miss an opportunity to plug the business.”

The collective gasps were audible clear downtown at the marina, which lay westward across the two and a half mile width of Amelia Island.

“I realize now that although fertilizer is permitted during the growing process, the application of artificial perfumes once the flower is severed from the mother plant is illegal. I want to make it completely clear that Martha Bear ™ had no knowledge whatsoever of my action in this matter. I apologize for having dishonored the greenlightWRITE.com and GraciousJaneMarie.com names as well as Martha’s.”

Wide-eyed silence overtook all listeners. Even Jane Marie and Nancy, who like all spaces of any kind filled in some fashion because their family motto is, after all, No Space Unfilled - yes, even they weren’t certain what to say.

Wink E Bear felt his input couldn’t hurt at this particular time. He was highly irritated that No Name had set up a situation that could have besmirched Martha Bear’s reputation - no matter if permanent damage had occurred or not. Wink E climbed onto the rim of the terra cotta pot that held Jane Marie’s avocado plant (grown from seed). He grabbed hold of its stock to balance himself and spoke, “Friends, neighbors, country bears, lend me your attention. We have come not to bury No Name, but we cannot condone his actions either. His deception at our time-honored Great Amelia Sniff-Off is a shameful thing.”

Heads everywhere nodded in agreement.

“However, I must add that his shame has been greatly diluted because he has bravely advanced to admit his wrong doing. While we can’t applaud him for his mischievous act, we can applaud him for his courage in telling the truth. Who’s with me?”

Nancy was the first to applaud because no one understood better than she how difficult it was for No Name to fess up to his mistakes. She remembered a poor little abandoned bear found in Belgium in the rain by her husband and brought to Oklahoma long ago.

Others joined her applause including Hedda Mae Hopper, the other judges and the courteous winner herself.

Jane Marie picked up Wink E Bear and kissed his cheek, thanking him for his kind words. Nancy picked up No Name, held him high in mock punishment and gave him a bear hug.

As mammals, insects, reptiles and humans dispersed for their respective homes, Bear With No Name could be heard saying, “OK, so when’s next year’s contest? I need to mark my calendar.”

The End - For Now

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